I used to be a hipster like you But then I got a job
Not sure I look better without glasses, Or if I just can't see how ugly I am without them.
Going through tough relationship problems Doesn't post vague sad Facebook updates
What if the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs was a UFO... And We're the Aliens
SLAYER!!! Pop screaming into a microphone: SLAYER!!!
Does a school project at the last minute A-
Goes out to noisy bar farts without abandon
Did interview over Skype Didn't need to put on pants
Having 9 lives would be great If they weren't mundane and devoid of meaning
Why Calculator? Why Not Calcunow
My work password isn't working anymore So this is how they fire me
One does not simply Whistle to Dubstep
President in 1998. Viagra approved by the FDA in 1998. Any questions?
Shares a name with a celebrity Employers can't google me
Gas Needle Below "E" Made it to work
42/86